surprise myself in a way that i dont want to believe

why am i so good at over-stressing on basically everything?  I realize this is not doing me any good and i am constantly worrying and having a bad time.  My dad was definitely right.

I love to keep things to myself and bottle them up to try finding a solution alone, and of course it doesnt work.  Then i'll always end up hurting myself the worst way possible.  There are certain feelings in which i cant tell with words and i dont wanna spill to everyone..but whos that someone that i truly trust and feel absolutely comfortable in telling?  i need to find that answer..

Lately, just a bunch of negative and pessimistic feelings has washed me over anything else.  I find myself worrying and feeling lost in life and in everything i do.  I am so tired of feeling rock bottom and have no motivation in school.  i know that there are expectations that need to be met and that's just how the society was formed.  I also know that i love putting pressure on myself and blaming myself hard on not meeting those expectations.  I hate the fact that im breaking down a lot and going through this stage and phase i've never thought i'll see myself in.