this time

I seriously dont know how we got here.  but this time, i didnt cry.  i chose not to cry.  or maybe it hurted so bad that tears didnt fall.  my eyes were dry.

this time, its serious. there was so much going thru my mind.  flashbacks. memories. how to deal?

i couldnt sleep. i chose not to cry myself to sleep.  but instead i have terrified dreams.  something's got into my head, my mind, something's different about me.

this hurts.  but it might be the best for now. trust me, i didnt want to do this, it hurts for me to do this too.

things will get better, i just cant lose faith now. if this is what needs to be done, let it be.

time. space. will heal things.

and hopefully, it will all get better in time.